I quit Facebook yesterday.
I didn’t delete the account, just logged off and made sure that the messenger app was not active either.
I think I was just done, done with the continual crash of voices and opinions; done with other issues related to activity on the site and relationships.
Done, done, done!
As a creative person, I know I can easily be distracted. “Oh, look! Something shiny… dull… stupid… creepy…” Stealing a few seconds, possibly hundreds of times a day, adds up to a lot of time. But it’s not only time lost.
Focus. I lose focus. Intent too. Thoughts. Notions. Creative flow. Discipline. Oh yeah… discipline flows right through the cracks caused by my incessant ‘breaks’ of looking at ‘this’ and ‘that.’
And after a particularly rough day, from a situation arising out of FB, I realized I had control to do something about it. Log off.
I’m not an idiot. I’m not addicted to it. But I’ve become accustomed to it as an extra appendage to daily life. What’s the harm in it? I’m just checking up on my peeps, letting them know what I’m doing and watching what they’re up to. It’s great as a virtual photo album.
But, yesterday was different. I found myself in a very negative place, and I went back and forth about something until I was simply frantic. I stopped myself and thought, “what the fuck are you doing?”
What’s the harm in it? That’s the harm in it. Too many voices, too many pieces of information, too many concerns, and I’m simply not made to handle all of it, at that rate, and then try to put it all in context. In its place? No… I made the decision to turn it off.
…and my day was much better. I started reading Moby Dick, which I’ve been meaning to for years. Really.
“Call me Ishmael.” I’ve heard it since Mrs. Alexander’s 2nd grade class.
I did feel a bit ‘off’ for a while, but once happy hour arrived, I was definitely more relaxed, not reaching for my phone as much as usual. Enjoying stellar conversation with our Guava Lamp buddies.
I think the benefits of disconnecting are yet to come. One day does not bring monumental change or transformation, but it is a start.
For instance, for me to simply jot this post is a big deal. Normally, I fret and foam over any written posting/communication I put out ‘there.’ No, this is raw, and simply… me. Nothing profound, but just me.
And I’m okay with that. This is closer to MY voice, which I’ve struggled to find, coming out as a novice writer years ago. I’m certain that the cloud of voices out there have made it harder for me to find and define; but I did allow it.
We are an interesting people. We’ve developed so much technology for communication at an exponentially faster rate over the last 15+ years, that we can remain connected to everything and everyone all the time. But it appears we’re personally moving backwards into primitive states, of sorts. We’re losing capacity to control ourselves, our person, our minds, souls, spirits. We’re drowning in digital screens.
At least I was.
I’ve never forgotten Batman Forever’s Edward Nygma’s/The Riddler’s brainwave device, used to project television waves directly into people’s brains, simultaneously collecting information from them, to be used for nefarious and sinister reasons. People, sitting on sofas, watching screens with mindless, wide-eyed grins, just letting it happen.
It’s an indelible image from 1995.
It’s all good. I just can’t handle all of it, and I’m okay with that.
I’ll see how this goes and what comes of it.
Till next time. Cheers.